Please Declare

You know that big white guy for North Carolina, you know, the one that is going to win player of the year? The one that gets more points from the free throw line than he does from the field? The guy that, if there is a God in the heavens, will declare to enter the NBA draft this year, his junior year, and NOT GET PICKED IN THE FIRST ROUND (sweet serenity!)!

I can't stand Hansbrough. He scores tons of points and gets tons of rebounds, and never closes his mouth. He's a board certified member of the Kevin Johnson club.

Sadly, I have to admit he is a great college player. I don't know how, I don't know how he gets 20 and 10 a game because it doesn't seem like he has any real skill outside of being big, insane, and able to hit free-throws. Can he shoot from outside the key? No. Can he dribble? No. Does he have good footwork? Were Milli Vanilli great singers?

He is the perfect Bob Knight player. He rebounds and fouls and gets fouled and sets solid screens. He's Mark Madsen on steroids.

If someone picks him in the lottery next year I will never mention that team by name from then on. His ceiling is Scott Pollard. Maybe a poor man's Gary Trent. I honestly think he would have a better shot of making it in the NFL than in the NBA. But that's just my opinion. If someone picked Joel Freeland two years ago, someone has to pick Hansbrough.

The sad thing is he plays for North Carolina who is undefeated and will most likely make it all the way to the final four this year. Which means we have to hear about how great he is for the next three months, ad nausea. And what's even sadder, he has to know that he's not going to be squat in the league, so you know he's coming back to UNC for his Sr. year. Why leave the castle you're the king of when you're only gonna be the joker in the next court.

On the bright side, at least it makes for a good villain to root against. He and the Lakers in this year's playoffs. But really, once they sign Chris Webber to replace Bynum for the next two months, we won't have to worry about the purple and gold for much to longer.