RANT

I just had a horrible day at work, compounded by the fact that I think someone who says she
"lives in the UK" but is selling a car in Portland is trying to swindle people on Craigslist, so I think it's time for another rant. Nothing is sacred.

My brother-in-law told me that I should mention hockey in my blog a little more, if I ever get around to writing this blog again. So here it is:

Hockey? Did it start yet? The season I mean? How do you make the playoffs in hockey? Is it by how many times you win or by how many points you score for losing and tying? I don't get it. The other thing I don't get, who cares? WHO CARES ABOUT HOCKEY? Literally speaking, no one. No one actually cares about hockey save for those who are under 13 and live in cold weather places. You know no one cares about hockey when the season starts and no one knows about it. Not even ESPN talked about it on opening day. It was an afterthought. ESPN shows more cup-stacking championships then they do hockey games. That's how you know no one ACTUALLY cares. Another sign no one cares about your sport, when the only thing anyone talks about after games is how many fights there were. Which actually doesn't involve a hockey stick or a puck. Now, if the fights did include those two things, man, I would tune in every night.

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Good to get that out.

Next, the NBA is a glorious thing. The Nuggets are the most injured team in the world save my St. Louis Rams. Why in the world the Nugg's thought it was a good idea to re-sign or give an extension to Nene blows my mind. I can't remember a time in his career where he hasn't been hurt or recovering or on his way towards getting hurt. That was like letting your heroin addicted drummer come back for the world tour after he skipped out on rehab early, hoping, just hoping that he would be able to kick the habit. Not gonna happen. The best thing, they signed Steven Hunter to back up the oft-injured Camby-man and now Hunter is on the shelf, along with Chucky Atkins who was somehow supposed to play point this year. GIVE ME A BREAK!

The Celtics are out of their mind. They are 7-0 and killing people like the Patriots. I love it. But I have one question? Did anyone think long-term when they picked up Allen and Garnett in return for their next 100 first round draft picks and almost every other player on their roster? What happens when these three retire in 3 years? I'll tell you, a 10-72 season with Big Baby and Rajon chucking up 50 shots a game and another 10 years without the playoffs. They are so far over the salary cap they make the Knicks look fiscally responsible. How can this be missed?

The Portland Trailblazers and the NBA are STILL marketing Greg Oden! He isn't going to play for a year! One whole year. What about Brandon Roy? Hell, I would like the Blazers to market the Big Monkey Joe P. rather than Greg Oden. His commercial is hilarious on ESPN, but whats gonna be even more hilarious is if the guy stinks it up when his career actually begins. What's more? The freaking Blaze-show is 4-4! Holy hell! And without Oden or D-Miles. Can I get some love for the D-Miles bandwagon? The guy is like 21 and has been in the league since I was in middle school it seems! How is that possible? How is this guy already POTENTIALLY washed up? Oh yeah, Microfracture. Right. Big men are marketable.

Stephon Marbury is the NBA's Peter Griffin. Isaiah Thomas is Quagmire.

The thing I love most about the NBA is that every year team's count on player's who have never produced to produce. To name a few that still find themselves in starting lineups: Kwame Brown, Darko, Mike Dunleavy. When I watch the Lakers play and see Kwame running up and down the floor unable to do anything else well besides run up and down the floor, it makes me wonder if Michael Jordan was doing acid when he picked him with the number one pick, and then it makes me wonder if teams only play him because he is a former number one pick and they think, "for the love of God, Michael Jordan picked him, he's got to have some kinda hidden talent!"

Stephon Marbury once had a show on Fox where he interviewed people. Take that in.

The NFC West is the worst division in football. The Niners are about to start Trent Dilfer again. Shaun Alexander is mailing it in when he plays, and now Maurice Morris is starting. The Cardinals are still the Cardinals, no matter who much pre-season hype they get. And the Rams, even though reasonably healthy right now, still are playing with what has to be their 4th string offensive and defensive lines. The NFC West is so bad that after the Rams beat the hell out of the Saints on Sunday for their first win of the season I believed with all my heart that if they could just win 5 more games, giving them a 6-10 record, they have an outside shot of making the playoffs as the Division Champs. The NFC West is so bad that my friend Jon named his fantasy team "NFC WEST" as a joke. Granted, the joke was about as bad as the division, but you get the point.

Ricky Williams is allowed to play again for the Dolphins and John Beck is going to start at qb this week for the winless Dolphins. I say trade everyone and relocate. Let's do this whole scrapping the season right and just tank the whole damn franchise. The marquee name on their team right now? Ted Ginn, Jr. Unbelievable.

The Falcons picked up Byron Cankles Leftwich to replace Joey Heisman. They benched Joey and started Leftwich who got hurt in his first game. You gotta love it. You just have to love a team doing everything it can to not start Joey but still having to start him. He must feel great about himself. I heard Jeff George was talking about a comeback. He was a former number 1 pick, maybe he can still muster up a little something. I think they should make a rule that if you are a number one pick you should have always have a job if you want one in your respective sport. They deserve it. Jeff George's Madden Ratings (as I remember them) back when he played: 99 ThPw 81 ThAcc 65 AWR. He was the Vick of his day minus the Speed. 51 Spd.

For the love everything unholy. I just looked at the ESPN.com NBA page and there is a headline that reads, "Marbury to the Blazers?" I vomited through my nose when I read that. I'm not even gonna click on that link. If the Blazers sign Stephon Marbury I will forfeit my Blazer Fan Membership. Effective Immediately.

Little Romeo plays for USC.

Jay Bilas said: "Kevin Love is so good because he is always open."

Steven Jackson writes a fantasy blog for ESPN.com. The dude has 30 more fantasy points than Rueben Droughns.

Ok, I broke down and clicked on the article. They aren't going to trade for him. There is a God.

I think I got it all out. For now. This is what happens when you are moving to LA in a month and can't think about anything else beyond that.

The movie "Like Mike" just came on, I am going to gauge my eyes out.