Weekend Update #2

I was 10-6 this week. Not bad. Not great. Maybe if Mario Williams wouldn't have gotten the game ball from Tom Jackson I would have been 11-5. But as I sat there last night and watched as Arizona found new ways to lose to San Fran, I couldn't help but think what a great first weekend it was. Not to mention that I pulled out a victory in week one of my fantasy football league, even though I scored the lowest points for a winning team in the league thanks to Santanna Moss scoring a whopping 5 points. Ronald Curry meanwhile, warming my bench, put up 29...

I was counting on Marc Bulger to put up astronomical numbers all year when I drafted him as my QB in every single league I'm in, but alas, the turf show and Jackson got off to a seriously hobbled start. I had to track the game online and thought they had the players names wrong when Action Jackson fumbled twice! How can he break the record for yards from scrimmage if he fumbles? It's okay though, I still believe, and the Niner's are coming to town next week, so all we have to do is run the box-and-1 on Gore and let Alex Smith try to throw every down and we should be golden. As for Jackson and Bulger, it might be a little more difficult all year with the loss of Orlando Pace...maybe we should bring back Turley? Nah.

The Broncos, meanwhile, and their crazed fans believe they have found the next Elway, finally. Jay Cutler led a game winning drive and is now taking to the throne as we speak. I wonder if they remember that The Snake was pretty good at 4th quarter comebacks too? Maybe he should get his own car dealership.

Speaking of guys who used to be good, remember Joey Heisman when he played for Oregon? He was the king of the comeback. I got a text from my brother-in-law after the Atlanta game ended, you know the one, the one where Joey threw a touchdown for the other team, it said: "You're right. Joey does suck." It's harsh to say that he sucks, he doesn't really suck that bad, he is just not the guy you want throwing the ball for your NFL team.

I was kind of surprised though that Joey didn't play better, I don't know why, maybe I too was tricked into believing in the powers of Petrino. But then again, there were many surprises this weekend...one of the main reasons I almost lost this week in fantasy land was because of some gangly WR out in New England that decided to put his pads on the right way for the first time since Minnesota and go nuts on the Jets. Stealing signs or not, Moss was on a whole other level. If he can play like that for at least ten of their games, it might be hard to stop them. And is it just me, or does Randy Moss kind of look like the lead singer from the Ramones as seen in the movie Rock ''n' Roll High School? The tight pants? The hair? No?

Something that didn't surprise me on Monday night was the Niners' wide reciever #82 dropping balls in the end zone. I was chatting on Gmail with my friend Jon, a diehard Seahawks fan:

Jonathan: question why do you trade your #1 reeciever for a fourth round pick?

answer: because he sucks
and his name is Darrel Jackson...

It was perfect. He had just dropped the pass in the endzone, the one that dropped right over his shoulder and through his hands, and Jon felt redeemed for all those balls that slipped through his hands when he was a Seagal.

A little redemption also came for Notre Dame fans when Arnaz Battle scored the go-ahead TD and re-instilled reality into the Cardinal fans, not to mention former USC QB Matt Leinart. Maybe the Karma from the "Bush-push" still hasn't worn off. When the season has started out as bad as it has for Notre Dame, we gotta take what we can get.

And just when I thought the Giants couldn't be any more depressing than they already are, Eli goes down with a shoulder injury. Although he is listed as week to week, it still has to suck to be a Giants fan right now. Your counting on Brandon Jacobs, oh wait, no he is hurt too, your counting on Derrick Ward, who? Your former running back is making headlines from the booth, and your probable starting qb for next week is none other than Jared Lorenzen. All 450 pounds. But honestly, he is one of my favorite all time qb's. Did you ever use him in NCAA Football for EA? He was a monster. I took him into the league to build my team around him but his 6.5 40 time proved to be a little too slow for...well, anything besides a 1 step dropback. Good luck.

And finally, as I was driving to work Sunday night and listening to the end of the Redskins game, another game no one wanted to win (see Fred Smoot), and I changed the channel a few times to make sure I hadn't accidentally tuned into the local Retirement home's broadcast. It seemed like Larry Michael, the play by play man, invited his friend who happened to be in town from West Virginia into the studio and the friend happened to bring his senile Uncle along. They literally just rambled on and on about what they hoped would happen, not what actually was happening on the field. It was like listening to Bill Walton try and explain tap dancing. Lots of words, none that actually pertained to anything in particular, but lots and lots of words.

Now I am off to pick up the backup for Derrick Ward for my fantasy squad. Unless that guys' name is a the same as a meaty sandwich.