Fantasy Killers

It's between Family Guy and ESPN's Fantasy Draft Special. I admit I was interested at first in the fantasy draft show, maybe I could find a steal in the fifth round or something that might win a game or two for me during the season, but then I saw Jerry O'Connell. I haven't liked anything he has done since Stand By Me. So it's Family Guy. Meg just came out and Peter said it was awesome. Much better than Mark Schlereth and Jerry.

So, instead of watching others talk about fantasy football, I thought I would give you my tips for this years upcoming season.

1. Resist the urge to draft Rueben Droughns, no matter how hard it may be, even if you are trying to handcuff him toe Brandon Jacobs. Even if Jacobs goes down in the first week and you are scrambling for a replacement, you have to resist the urge to pick him. I have somehow ended up with Droughns on my team each of the last four years. Be it through the draft, free agency, or yes, even through a trade, I have ended up with what has to be one of the most unproductive running backs in fantasy football history. The dude has racked up a handful of touchdowns in what seems like 1000's of touches. You would be better off rigging up a way to get points for you team for every time John Madden mentions his love of kankles.

2. Stay clear of anyone with the last name Gramattica. Even if all the other kickers in the world are raptured. Just for posterity's sake.

3. Do not draft anyone from the Detroit Cubby's. Not even Calvin Johnson, unless you truly believe Kitna and his lofty expectations for the season...again.

4. If it comes down to it, and you don't know who to pick in the final rounds, pick the team with the hottest cheerleaders and then pick the highest rated available player from that team. Maybe he will play just a wee bit harder then the other guy, who knows?

5. Don't pick anyone that Vick could snitch on.

But above all else, stay away from Droughns, oh, and Mwelde Moore, somehow those guys always end up on my team and always help me to finish in 7th place, one spot out of the playoffs. This will be the year that I stand strong, that I break my addiction to mediocre backs, and that I make a run at the title.